how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
