He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
