ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
