Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
