I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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