after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
