He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
