He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
