I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
