i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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