FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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