The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
