would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
