he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
