Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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