He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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