Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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