the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
