lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
