I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
