omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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