You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
