omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
