he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
