Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
