My first STD was from a foam party
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
