As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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