brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
