Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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