He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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