Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just high enough for therapy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
