their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
