Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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