You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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