i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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