its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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