fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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