i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
