worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
