yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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