im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
