the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Randomize
