Swine flu. Run for my life!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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