I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Small penises have feelings too.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
