im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
