Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
