they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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