found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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