this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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