I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My ass is underappreciated
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
