could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
