the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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